There are several reasons why this could occur. First, you may just be stupid. For example, you may not have an account here. Second, who knows why? Anything could have happened. How am I suppsoed to know? Maybe... no, probably not that. It could be anything. Fuck off.

Hell, no. First of all, apologizing for your penis isn’t sexy. Second, who’s to say she’ll think it’s small? Everything is relative, and most girls aren’t size queens. Third, you shouldn’t give her a chance to back out before you prove what you can do with it.

Yeah! Fight the power! Fuck these assholes, who the fuck do they think they are? FUCK! I hate this loser place SO MUCH.

If you do not check the Log me in automatically box when you login, the board will only keep you logged in for a preset time. This prevents misuse of your account by anyone else. To stay logged in, check the box during login. This is not recommended if you access the board from a shared computer, e.g. library, internet cafe, university computer lab, etc. If you do not see this checkbox, it means the board administrator has disabled this feature.

Take a piece of tape and stick it on your screen where those listings are. Failing this, try propping something up against your screen so it covers the offending article. Either way, YOU are the winner.

Don’t panic! No, wait! PANIC! SHIT! I LOST MINE TOO! FUCK FUCK FUCK! Wait... While your password cannot be retrieved, it can easily be reset. Visit the login page and click I’ve forgotten my password. Follow the instructions and you should be able to log in again shortly.

The concentration of alcohol in the brain of even a terrifically drunk person doesn’t come close to the levels required to kill living cells, says Stephen Braun, a scientist. People become intoxicated with only a tenth of a percent of alcohol in their blood. But alcohol is a dirty bomb, explains Braun. Rather than zeroing in on one specific region of the brain, alcohol impacts your entire noggin. The result: a few drinks can temporarily block new memory formation, dull your thinking, and reduce muscle control. And, let us not forget, make you a lot sexier and funnier.

OH MY GOD CALL THE POLICE! POLICE! POLICE! Someone has registered but CANNOT LOGIN!!! HEEEEELP!!!!

COPPA, or the Child Online Privacy and Protection Act of 1998, is a law in the United States that has kept Uberman out of the United States since 1998.

It is possible the website owner has banned your IP address or disallowed the username you are attempting to register. The website owner could have also disabled registration to prevent new visitors from signing up. Who is to say, one way or the other? Who can ever, really, say? It’s questions like these that separate the cocks from the roosters.

“Delete all board cookies” deletes all board cookies. Anyone have any good questions? My Star Wars figures are getting cold.

Go to your profile then change them. It seems simple, but can a person truly ever change? And if so, what does it take?

Please fill out a form f-72, email it to your self for time stamp validation, then forward same to craopo@crapopolis.net. Average processing times vary from 8 months to forever.

Who told you that you could ’change the timezone’? Who the fuck do you think you are? Leave shit ALONE. Don’t touch ANYTHING. I mean it. Crapopolis.net is held together with duct tape and spit. Don’t even LOOK at it.

Boo hoo cry me a river. Learn to speak American! Yeee haw! Pop me a beer, somebody.

There are two images that may appear below a username when viewing posts. The first is a hat. You can upload a hat for anyone other than yourself by clicking their current hat and following the destructions. the second is a picture you can upload YOURSELF! Go to profile and figure out where it says "avatar". It says it somewhere in the profile. Then upload one or pick one or whatever it says you can do. Go. Get out of here. Seriously go I’m so sick of this question.

Click anyone’s except your own to change it. It’s one of crapopolis’ greatest assets. Crapopolis does not have very many assets.

That’s not possible. Tell me again EXACTLY what happened. Start with you turning your computer on.

To post a new topic in a forum, click the relevant button on either the forum or topic screens. You may need to register before you can post a message. A list of your permissions in each forum is available at the bottom of the forum and topic screens. Example: You can post new topics, You can vote in polls, etc.

How do you change the past? If you edit it, did you ever said it? If you delete it, will we just forget it? You know you can’t run from your past. Face it, and free yourself.

We don’t do that here.

Going out on a limb here, I’d say you can probably figure it out.

It’s possible that you’re retarded. Otherwise, it’s possible that you’re retarded. And we can’t ignore the possibility that you might just be retarded.

As with posts, polls can only be edited by the original poster, a moderator or an administrator. If members have already placed votes, only moderators or administrators can edit or delete it. This prevents the poll’s options from being changed mid-way through a poll. Except of course when you consider, dear friend, that fucking everyone is a moderator or administrator. Don’t put too much stock on the results of that poll, because yes, your ass does look fat.

Some forums may be limited to certain users or groups. Duh.

Somewhere between 5.1 and 5.9 inches, depending on the study you read. A study published in the September 1996 Journal of Urology concluded that average erect length was 12.9 cm (5.08 in) (measured by staff). The purpose of the study was to “provide guidelines of penile length and circumference to assist in counseling patients considering penile augmentation.” Erection was pharmacologically induced in 80 physically normal American men (varying ethnicity, average age 54). It was concluded: “Neither patient age nor size of the flaccid penis accurately predicted erectile length.” A study published in the December 2000 International Journal of Impotence Research found that average erect penis length was 13.6 cm (5.35 in) (measured by staff). Quote: "The aim of this prospective study was to identify clinical and engineering parameters of the flaccid penis for prediction of penile size during erection." Erection was pharmacologically induced in 50 Jewish Caucasian patients who had been evaluated for Erectile dysfunction (average age 47±14y). Patients with penis abnormalities or whose ED could be attributed to more than one psychological origin were omitted from the study. A study conducted by LifeStyles Condoms found an average of 14.9 cm (5.9 in) with a standard deviation of 2.1 cm (0.8 in) (measured by staff). The purpose of this study was to ensure properly sized condoms were available. 401 college students volunteered to be measured during 2001 Spring Break in Cancún, Mexico, of which 300 gained an erection to be clinically measured (without pharmacological aid). The 300 effective measurements makes this study double the size of any prior study that uses medical staff to measure penis size. A study conducted by LifeStyles Condoms during 2001 Spring Break in Cancún found an average of 12.6 cm (5.0 in) with a standard deviation of 1.3 cm (0.5 in). Similar results exist regarding studies of the circumference of the adult fully erect penis, with the measurement taken mid-shaft.[citation needed] As with length, studies that relied on self-measurement consistently reported a higher average than those with staff measuring.

Lord knows.

You may see a button for reporting posts next to the post you wish to report. Clicking this will walk you through the steps necessary to report the post... but please don’t do it. They’re sort of tedious, and nobody’s going to do anything about it anyway. Fuck off and die, skaterz rule forever!!!

Saving.

Because you’re insecure, maybe.

By clicking the “Bump topic” link when you are viewing it, you can “bump” the topic to the top of the forum on the first page. However, if you do not see this, then topic bumping may be disabled or the time allowance between bumps has not yet been reached. It is also possible to bump the topic simply by replying to it, however, be sure to follow the board rules when doing so.

BBCode is a special implementation of HTML, offering great formatting control on particular objects in a post. The use of BBCode is granted by the administrator, but it can also be disabled on a per post basis from the posting form. BBCode itself is similar in style to HTML, but tags are enclosed in square brackets [ and ] rather than < and >. For more information on BBCode see the guide which can be accessed from the posting page.

No. It is not possible to post HTML on this board and have it rendered as HTML. Most formatting which can be carried out using HTML can be applied using BBCode instead.

Smilies, or Emoticons, are small images which can be used to express a feeling using a short code, e.g. :) denotes happy, while :( denotes sad. The full list of emoticons can be seen in the posting form. Try not to overuse smilies, however, as they can quickly render a post unreadable and a moderator may edit them out or remove the post altogether. The board administrator may also have set a limit to the number of smilies you may use within a post.

Yes, images can be shown in your posts. If the administrator has allowed attachments, you may be able to upload the image to the board. Otherwise, you must link to an image stored on a publicly accessible web server, e.g. http://www.example.com/my-picture.gif. You cannot link to pictures stored on your own PC (unless it is a publicly accessible server) nor images stored behind authentication mechanisms, e.g. hotmail or yahoo mailboxes, password protected sites, etc. To display the image use the BBCode [img] tag.

Global announcements contain important information and you should read them whenever possible. They will appear at the top of every forum and within your User Control Panel. Global announcement permissions are granted by the board administrator.

Announcements often contain important information for the forum you are currently reading and you should read them whenever possible. Announcements appear at the top of every page in the forum to which they are posted. As with global announcements, announcement permissions are granted by the board administrator.

Sticky topics within the forum appear below announcements and only on the first page. They are often quite important so you should read them whenever possible. As with announcements and global announcements, sticky topic permissions are granted by the board administrator.

Locked topics are topics where users can no longer reply and any poll it contained was automatically ended. Topics may be locked for many reasons and were set this way by either the forum moderator or board administrator. You may also be able to lock your own topics depending on the permissions you are granted by the board administrator.

Topic icons are author chosen images associated with posts to indicate their content. The ability to use topic icons depends on the permissions set by the board administrator.

Administrators are members assigned with the highest level of control over the entire board. These members can control all facets of board operation, including setting permissions, banning users, creating usergroups or moderators, etc., dependent upon the board founder and what permissions he or she has given the other administrators. They may also have full moderator capabilities in all forums, depending on the settings put forth by the board founder.

Moderators are individuals (or groups of individuals) who look after the forums from day to day. They have the authority to edit or delete posts and lock, unlock, move, delete and split topics in the forum they moderate. Generally, moderators are present to prevent users from going off-topic or posting abusive or offensive material.

Usergroups are groups of users that divide the community into manageable sections board administrators can work with. Each user can belong to several groups and each group can be assigned individual permissions. This provides an easy way for administrators to change permissions for many users at once, such as changing moderator permissions or granting users access to a private forum.

You can view all usergroups via the “Usergroups” link within your User Control Panel. If you would like to join one, proceed by clicking the appropriate button. Not all groups have open access, however. Some may require approval to join, some may be closed and some may even have hidden memberships. If the group is open, you can join it by clicking the appropriate button. If a group requires approval to join you may request to join by clicking the appropriate button. The user group leader will need to approve your request and may ask why you want to join the group. Please do not harass a group leader if they reject your request; they will have their reasons.

A usergroup leader is usually assigned when usergroups are initially created by a board administrator. If you are interested in creating a usergroup, your first point of contact should be an administrator; try sending a private message.

It is possible for the board administrator to assign a colour to the members of a usergroup to make it easy to identify the members of this group.

If you are a member of more than one usergroup, your default is used to determine which group colour and group rank should be shown for you by default. The board administrator may grant you permission to change your default usergroup via your User Control Panel.

This page provides you with a list of board staff, including board administrators and moderators and other details such as the forums they moderate.

There are three reasons for this; you are not registered and/or not logged on, the board administrator has disabled private messaging for the entire board, or the board administrator has prevented you from sending messages. Contact a board administrator for more information.

You can block a user from sending you private messages by using message rules within your User Control Panel. If you are receiving abusive private messages from a particular user, inform a board administrator; they have the power to prevent a user from sending private messages.

We are sorry to hear that. The e-mail form feature of this board includes safeguards to try and track users who send such posts, so e-mail the board administrator with a full copy of the e-mail you received. It is very important that this includes the headers that contain the details of the user that sent the e-mail. The board administrator can then take action.

You can use these lists to organise other members of the board. Members added to your friends list will be listed within your User Control Panel for quick access to see their online status and to send them private messages. Subject to template support, posts from these users may also be highlighted. If you add a user to your foes list, any posts they make will be hidden by default.

You can add users to your list in two ways. Within each user’s profile, there is a link to add them to either your Friend or Foe list. Alternatively, from your User Control Panel, you can directly add users by entering their member name. You may also remove users from your list using the same page.

Enter a search term in the search box located on the index, forum or topic pages. Advanced search can be accessed by clicking the “Advance Search” link which is available on all pages on the forum. How to access the search may depend on the style used.

Your search was probably too vague and included many common terms which are not indexed by phpBB3. Be more specific and use the options available within Advanced search.

Your search returned too many results for the webserver to handle. Use “Advanced search” and be more specific in the terms used and forums that are to be searched.

Visit to the “Members” page and click the “Find a member” link.

Your own posts can be retrieved either by clicking the “Search user’s posts” within the User Control Panel or via your own profile page. To search for your topics, use the Advanced search page and fill in the various options appropriately.

Bookmarking in phpBB3 is much like bookmarking in your web browser. You aren’t alerted when there’s an update, but you can come back to the topic later. Subscribing, however, will notify you when there is an update to the topic or forum on the board via your preferred method or methods.

To subscribe to a specific forum, click the “Subscribe forum” link upon entering the forum. To subscribe to a topic, reply to the topic with the subscribe checkbox checked or click the “Subscribe topic” link within the topic itself.

To remove your subscriptions, go to your User Control Panel and follow the links to your subscriptions.

Each board administrator can allow or disallow certain attachment types. If you are unsure what is allowed to be uploaded, contact the board administrator for assistance.

To find your list of attachments that you have uploaded, go to your User Control Panel and follow the links to the attachments section.

This software (in its unmodified form) is produced, released and is copyright phpBB Group. It is made available under the GNU General Public License and may be freely distributed. See the link for more details.

This software was written by and licensed through phpBB Group. If you believe a feature needs to be added, please visit the phpbb.com website and see what phpBB Group have to say. Please do not post feature requests to the board at phpbb.com, the group uses SourceForge to handle tasking of new features. Please read through the forums and see what, if any, our position may already be for a feature and then follow the procedure given there.

Any of the administrators listed on the “The team” page should be an appropriate point of contact for your complaints. If this still gets no response then you should contact the owner of the domain (do a whois lookup) or, if this is running on a free service (e.g. Yahoo!, free.fr, f2s.com, etc.), the management or abuse department of that service. Please note that the phpBB Group has absolutely no jurisdiction and cannot in any way be held liable over how, where or by whom this board is used. Do not contact the phpBB Group in relation to any legal (cease and desist, liable, defamatory comment, etc.) matter not directly related to the phpBB.com website or the discrete software of phpBB itself. If you do e-mail phpBB Group about any third party use of this software then you should expect a terse response or no response at all.